Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Stonewalled in parenting...

I do not know about you, but sometimes I get stonewalled in my parenting.
My children will have a new "phase" and I just don't know what I should do about it or how I am suppose to handle it...

Over the last couple of weeks, Matthew has been testing my patience...

Make it terrible two's tantrums in a 7 1/2 year old that talks back and tells you all about your meanness toward him...

At first, I was really taken aback (thinking it was a one time thing) and really shaken.

It was a Monday night and Joseph was working late.
I had to make him come home because nothing I did was making it stop...

But then it happened again a few days later...
And on different scales of seriousness a few times since...

Time out isn't working out great.
He'll sit in his room, but the quiet part is lost on him...
Taking away video game privileges makes him realize he's really in trouble,
but he then tries to barter for it back by threatening he'll only behave if we give them back...
That hasn't worked but he still tries...

And then it just makes me wonder;
what happened to make a sweet child become so angry and ungrateful all at once?
What did I do or not do? Why is this happening?

He wrote me a few "angry letters" telling me to stay out of his stuff and that the big rule was to NEVER EVER GROUND HIM...

He speaks without even thinking saying things that aren't exactly nice, talks back,...

And I am at a loss.

Even the conversations with his dad seem to work for only a day or two...

But then in the midst of it all there will be the "moment de repit" this "hiatus" of sorts, where he is his own sweet self again...

I know I love him and he loves me;
I am just not sure I can take much more of the little temper flares...

I didn't think tantrums were coming back...

I hit a stonewall.

Just need to figure out how to get over it...

2 comments:

the emily said...

I used to write angry notes like that to my mom sometimes. She kept some of them, and they make me cringe. This too shall pass...

Not that I've ever had a 7-year-old, but mainly I would keep sticking to your guns and ignore, ignore, ignore. Paying attention to bad behavior is still paying attention. Kids want attention more than anything. So taking time to hang out with just Matthew for a few minutes--reading, playing a game, something, ANYTHING positive--might work wonders. It does for Isaac. Things in his life might feel uncertain (new baby coming, school starting, Joseph working late) and that's how he acts out. You should read the book "Christlike Parenting" by Glenn Latham. He's all about positive attention/reinforcement and ignoring bad behaviors.

Look at me, the parenting expert. Sorry. These are just the thoughts I had as I was reading your post. I hope it gets better FAST.

Christopher and Rosanne said...

That doesn't sound like the Matthew that I know. Maybe aliens have taken over his body at some point. Time to get Mulder and Scully!!

-Christopher
P.S. Just trying to make you smile. :) I agree with Emily.