Wednesday, December 7, 2011


Naomi Eliane

Born November 16th @ 11:01am

Weighing 7 lbs 6oz

Measuring 20 inches long

We still can't quite wrap our heads around the fact that we have a GIRL...

To see Naomi's birth story in pictures go here.
(The amazingly talented Sharon,
which also happens to be my friend,
captured the moments for us!)

Friday, November 4, 2011

Letting go...

I don't know why I do this but I've done it 3 times out of 5.

I am not sure why I set myself up only to be disappointed and discouraged
when things don't happen.

I remember going over my due date when I was pregnant with Matthew
and feeling like my world had just ended.

Zackary and Samuel came earlier than I had expected
so I didn't go through this with neither of them.

But boy did Eli play a number on me.
There is certainly something to be said
about not expecting your baby to be born
as early as the other one!
I thought I was going to lose it.
But then I hit 39 weeks and somehow the only way to stay sane
was to just
let it go.
He was born 5 days later...

I didn't want this baby born at 37 weeks.
But I had told myself that once November hit...
November 1st came and went...
No baby.
Then I told myself that with my next Doctor's appointment
and him stripping my membranes...

As I was somewhat losing it last night
(and definitely having no patience with my already born children),
I finally came to the conclusion that I had been setting myself up.
Just like the last time.

And I decided,
once again,
that the only way to stay sane was to
let it go.
Because no matter what we try,
babies come when they are ready.
Not one second before.

And maybe,
just maybe,
this is part of becoming a mother.

Maybe the "waiting game"
and the fact that it drives us crazy
is sort of a rite of passage,
a preparation for things to come.

Nature will play itself out.
And just as it is with many things in life,
sometimes the only way to get through
is by
letting it go...

Sunday, October 23, 2011

The art and doubts of motherhood...

(36 Weeks with Baby #5 taken 10/14/2011)

Today I was asked to speak for a few minutes to the Mia maid class (Mia maids are 14 and 15 year old young women) at our Church about the importance of bearing children in God's plan.

As I told them about Motherhood, how it is a difficult and restless job but also how it teaches us so much about the attributes of God. How it helps us understand, to a degree never before imagined, what unconditional love and unselfishness really are. That this gift of life our Heavenly Father has granted us is wonderful and that there can be no greater joy for a married couple than to welcome and raise children in this world...

I know and believe all the things I told these young women today yet tonight and a few times over the last few weeks I find myself doubting my abilities as a mother.

Mostly it is the fact that another little one is about to join our family and that I do not know how I will be able to handle it all...

My sweet husband seems to remember me going through something similar every time we got close to adding another child to our family. I do NOT...

I had to bite my tongue before replying something I know I would have regretted.

The fact of the matter is that I mostly doubt my abilities as a mother because I do not know how I will handle an impatient 5 year old, a stubborn "NO" 2 year old and a new baby (the two older ones mostly behave themselves most days)...

How I will juggle helping a 2nd grader, a kindergartner do homework every afternoon when the 2 year old likes to throw a fit a that same exact moment and still being there for the questions of the 4th grader while adding a nursing baby to the mix.

How I will handle the fits of the two year old while in a church bench (something that is already proving difficult most Sundays) so that my husband can fulfill his duties and serve the Lord as he has been asked to do, while still taking care of that new baby.

So, while I have prayed for babies to come at this time before, tonight I am praying that this baby doesn't come too soon.

I am praying for a couple more weeks and a miracle.

Or maybe just a better attitude so that I remember I do not have to do this alone.

Because after all; I am never alone...

Friday, September 16, 2011

Where has time gone???

11 years ago I knelt at the altar in the House of the Lord
and promised forever...

11 years of waking up next to the man I love!

11 years already and an eternity to go!

I couldn't have found a better man!

Sunday, September 11, 2011

Let's keep Rolling...

Here is a touching article by ESPN's Rick Reilly that Joseph shared with me yesterday.

9/11 was also about everyday Americans who became heroes because they sacrificed everything to save others.

Read it here.

10 years ago...

10 years ago
I was 22 weeks pregnant with my first child.

I am 31 weeks pregnant with Baby #5...

10 years ago,
Joseph and I were awoken to the ring of the telephone...
My Dad was calling to let us know the twin towers had been hit
and he wanted to make sure we were okay.

we are awakened by the sound of noisy children, and church responsibilities...

A lot has changed in the past 10 years,
yet a lot is still unchanged.

And though evil is still present,
maybe even evermore present now then it was then;
Good still does exist.
It can be found it the smallest acts,
or in grand gestures.
God is still ever present in our lives.
He is NOT impartial in the affairs of men.
Miracles still do happen.
Love still wins.
Life is still precious.

Though this day we remember the lives that were lost,
the evil and the shock of it all;
Let us not forget that on the next day
We all rallied as a people,
showed the world
What it means to be American...

If you would like to reflect more on the spiritual impact of September 11th in our lives go here.

A special tribute:

Monday, May 30, 2011

In honor of those who gave all...

When I got out of bed this morning,
Joseph was getting ready to go into work for a few hours on this Memorial day.
He put on a patriotic you tube video of "God Bless the USA".

I decided I would finally break the blogging silence
and Blog about today
because this is one of the things I feel strongly about.

I read an article from the Wall street Journal this morning
that can well represent what I feel about this day.
If you have a few minutes during your day,
I would recommend stopping by here and reading it.
Mark Helprin hits it right on the nail.

I do believe that we should remember the sacrifice
of those who gave their lives for freedom every single day.
But today especially,
we should remember their sacrifice
and those of their loved ones.

There is no word strong enough to express the gratitude we feel.
I thank my Father in Heaven there are such men and women.
Willing to give it all.
Willing to sacrifice all.
All in the name of an ideal.
All in the name of Freedom.

Let us not forget that freedom is NOT free.
It was paid for dearly in the blood of our fellow countrymen.
And sometimes even by those
who did not belong to this God inspired Nation.

Let us not forget that freedom is fragile,
That it does need our protection and vigilance.
Let us be more involved,
Let us not fall into apathy.

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

What I want isn't always what's best...

There is this little saying that goes something like
"Man plans and God laughs..."

Sometimes I think it's the story of my life!

A house went up for sale last week down the street from my friends Joni and Bradi.
After looking for it over the Internet unsuccessfully,
I actually called up the agent to figure out the details.
It is dirt cheap... like almost 50K less than the appraisal.

So we talked and decided we had to try.
This is where we WANT to be... 2nd ward: Home...

So we started the ball rolling.
Checked out credit scores and looked into getting prequalified...

Then we found out it's an auction.
Then we saw it needs some good work...

I agonized and prayed, and prayed and prayed...
Until my emotions no longer dictated what I wanted,
until I could see it all in a more rational way.

We talked about it again.
We had to decide whether or not we wanted to go all the way on this.

And the feeling came: Not this time around.

Part of me is sad,
we really could afford it.
Cheaper than rent priced as it is.
Though the down payment was a little problematic
and the fact that we aren't quite where we want to be
when we finally take the big step into home ownership.

There are more pressing things to get through:
a Master's degree to finish,
more things to pay off and certainly a lot of money to be saved...

Yet as my heart pinches at the thought of not being quite back in the 2nd ward,
I know that it is only because the time hasn't quite come for us to move on.

And though I do know what I want,
I also recognize that what I want isn't always best,
that only He knows what is best,
that as long as we strive to do His will,
we will be found exactly where we need to be,
when we need to be there...

And I feel peace again.