Tuesday, January 18, 2011

What I want isn't always what's best...

There is this little saying that goes something like
"Man plans and God laughs..."

Sometimes I think it's the story of my life!

A house went up for sale last week down the street from my friends Joni and Bradi.
After looking for it over the Internet unsuccessfully,
I actually called up the agent to figure out the details.
It is dirt cheap... like almost 50K less than the appraisal.

So we talked and decided we had to try.
This is where we WANT to be... 2nd ward: Home...

So we started the ball rolling.
Checked out credit scores and looked into getting prequalified...

Then we found out it's an auction.
Then we saw it needs some good work...

I agonized and prayed, and prayed and prayed...
Until my emotions no longer dictated what I wanted,
until I could see it all in a more rational way.

We talked about it again.
We had to decide whether or not we wanted to go all the way on this.

And the feeling came: Not this time around.

Part of me is sad,
we really could afford it.
Cheaper than rent priced as it is.
Though the down payment was a little problematic
and the fact that we aren't quite where we want to be
when we finally take the big step into home ownership.

There are more pressing things to get through:
a Master's degree to finish,
more things to pay off and certainly a lot of money to be saved...

Yet as my heart pinches at the thought of not being quite back in the 2nd ward,
I know that it is only because the time hasn't quite come for us to move on.

And though I do know what I want,
I also recognize that what I want isn't always best,
that only He knows what is best,
that as long as we strive to do His will,
we will be found exactly where we need to be,
when we need to be there...

And I feel peace again.